While I am here bonding with Fort, I am also inadvertently bonding with the other children here at Kaja Nafasi. There are only 12 children here, and usually 3 house mothers on duty. There is also a guard, a volunteer from Holland, Chris & Jurjanne who come and go, and me. The house mothers hold them, feed them and sometimes play with them, but they also clean (washing clothes, mopping the red dust off the floors, hand washing dishes) and cook (lots of starch here- always a potato, or potato-like "matooke" , or a grits- potato mash up called "posho"- plus beans beans beans and some veggies). They do the diapers, make the bottles on the stove, set out and clean up activities. In other words, there are many of them, but they are busy. And I am just here to play.
There are the big kids, whom I met first. The ones who play with Fort and that he gets jealous of because they ask for my attention. And oh my, are these kids heartbreakers.
Of course the twin girls speak directly to my heart. Emily and Maria. They are about 2.5 years and crack me up. They are amazingly well adapted - no emotional issues like Fort that scream out. It is easier that they are younger. Emily is a vivacious, no-holds barred, ball of fire - she speaks great English and is super smart. oh, and she has the mark of Saruman (are you familiar w the Lord of the Rings?? - she is very dark and was walking around all day with a white, sandy handprint smack over her eye, just like the big Orc in the movie. We laughed ALL DAY). Maria is a sweet, beautiful little thing. She looks around and lets Emily be the loud one while she quietly slides into my lap. She has decided she loves me and oh my god do I adore this sweet thing. "Nange" means "me too!" and all day, they follow me around saying "Auntie, Nange!". They are strong willed, and maybe more grounded because they've always had each other. I don't think they would fare well in this country, where girls are supposed to be still somewhat submissive. These girls have been rejected 5 times.
Then there is big John. Big John is probably not yet 2 but he thinks he is a man. He trucks around all day, loading things onto a wheelbarrow, dragging a rake around the house. Things like that. He eats with such gusto that he often will have juice & saliva just spewing down onto his shirt. He is solid, and happy, and independent. I wasn't sure if he could talk for a while - he can, but he's a doer not a talker. Big man John can get any job done. I cannot imagine it, but they say John was in a terrible malnourished state when he was brought to the home. Now he is Big Man John.
If you want to go young, there's silent Peter. When Peter cries, you can barely hear it. He was so malnourished when he was brought in, his hair was grey. Now he is got new dark hair. He has big dark eyes and a solemn, wise expression. He recently learned how to crawl and is fearless. All the kids will be inside and we'll say "where's Peter?" and he has crawled outside, up several steps and into the sandbox. He's probably one and a half -they think he at one time could stand and maybe walk, but then became severely malnourished and lost the strength. He is now standing on his own and walking with assistance- I won't be surprised if he walks before I leave.
He has only recently started to laugh. It surprises me every time- that old man face breaking into giddy toddler laughing.
Winnie is the only other girl. She held me at an arms length the first week, then started flirting with me the second week, and this week she is my new Velcro child. She and Maria vie for the place on my lap closest to my body. They both cry when Fort comes over to claim his spot. But when he is happily playing with the boys, zooming around on their toy boda bodas, or walking around on some of the wooden planks left behind by the building guys (they are repairing the boundary wall), then you will see either girl locked onto my waist, with an arm tightly encircling mine.
Jose is the one who hurts my heart the most. He is the oldest - probably 5-6 (he has lost his bottom two teeth). He knows exactly what is happening with me and Fort. He knows a Mama has arrived for Fort and not for him. Sometimes he just looks at Fort snuggling with me and begins to cry. Other times he is mad, clawing at me or pulling on me - even my disapproval is some sort of attention. If I were not Fort's mom, he is the one I would hug the most. But I feel like it would only confuse him more- to have solace from the one who personifies his largest want, that thing he cannot have. And has Jose crossed an invisible line? Is he so aware of his abandonment that he won't be able to be accepting of a real family when one appears for him? He needs a family, but one who can painstakingly love him.
James is the new kid on the block. He was only here a week before I was here. He has the darkest skin, and when I came it was still ashy grey in color. Now it is gleaming bright, and I am starting to see a little light in his eyes. He has most likely spent some time out on the street ( he is 4-5). He has a toughness and a sense of survival to him. But he is still a kid. I see it in the few moments he allows himself to relax into me, to let himself be hugged or sung to or carried.
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