Mama Adrienne

Well the trip was an extra 11 hours or so, but I'm here!  For a few days I'm staying with Jurjanne- she & her husband Chris started the home, Kaja Nafasi. And she has wifi- Sweet!  It feels decadent to sit on the bed in her guest house, emailing & facebooking and with the lights on too!  I appreciate Jurjanne- she and Chris have opened their home to me, and are totally dedicated to doing right by these orphans. But Corin, who left in June, was the one I connected with more. Jurjanne is a little on the brisk side. Both of them are from the Netherlands, and Dutch is their primary language. So the English and culture barriers are there too. Plus Jurjanne is the one who first said no to me possibly adopting bc I was not with their US agency. But I'm getting past that today. She told me about her 2 Ugandan boys she adopted- one left at 8 months home alone daily--malnourished and abandoned. And the other left on a bus just days old, probably due to a medical condition he has. The stories here are tough. 

But Fort's story is improving. I finally got to see him today!

Yes, I saw our son today.  Jurjanne asked me if I wanted to take a nap after finally getting here. I said, "I'd like to see Fort". She had some errands to do, so we changed some money for me, got a Ugandan cell phone, and had lunch. Then we drove over the bumpy & busy roads to Kaja Nafasi - the babies' home. When we got out, Fort was right in front- riding one of the little "boda boda" bikes another volunteer bought for the house. He looked up & zoomed away with his little pack of boys. When Jurjanne & I got out of the car, he came over to us but was so shy. He wouldn't look at either of us. Jurjanne said "do you know who I've brought to you?". And he looked down and said "Mama Adrienne". She asked if he could give a hand to me. And he did. And I held his little hand and said "Hello Fort. I'm going to be your mama, ok?". And still looking down, he smiled & nodded and zoomed off again. I sat and waited for him to come over. Slowly he sat by me. Later he took my hand and showed me around. He was clearly filled with mixed emotions all day-shy, friendly, silly, cuddly, clingy & sad.  When he is silly, he has the brightest smile full of straight white teeth and these beautiful big brown eyes. His hair is fuzzy and he smells of dirt, baby oil, and sweetness. He was certainly jealous and territorial with me - he would cry when I would let another kid on my lap, even alongside him. 

I took him into the bathroom to go "susu". After he washed his hands I picked him up and we looked in the mirror. I said "hello Fort". And he said "Hello Mama Adrienne". I told him "I am happy". He said, ""I happy too". 

He understands English fairly well & speaks some too, but I don't think he could articulate what he was feeling- maybe not in any language. It'll be a process. He has times where he just inconsolably cries. He cried for an hour in my lap, and cried himself to sleep. He took a nap for about 45 minutes laying on me.  I rested too.   But when he woke up, he started with the crying again. A plaintive low cry, slow sobs.  Like he wasn't even checked in anymore. But he let me cuddle him and hold him while he cried.  Tough little Man. Who knows what he is feeling, or what he is allowing himself to feel. 

I am feeling good about our first day. He was not happy when I left. The house mothers say that is wonderful- he is bonding with me from day 1. But it is very hard to see him begin to work through this, and have to learn that I will be back tomorrow. 

I have come a long way into world the dusty, loud, sweet smelling, heart breaking world of Uganda.