I finally got an email. So I have a little more information. The director has let me know that they will be reviewing our papers next week. Hooray! I am so excited, but also waiting with baited breath. I am busy getting everything in order...every step is made up of multiple mini-steps. Once they match us with a child, and we accept the match, they will send us all the information about him that they know at this point. The home had such a small number of children that I do not doubt that I will remember the child when we are matched with a name. If everything goes as smoothly as it possibly can, we will need to return to Kampala in about 3 months for the court date, and again - with luck - bring our son home soon after. Holy cow.
I am thinking of how everything is so tentative - really, the whole process has nothing in writing! Once again I am amazed when I realise that none of this would have been possible if I had not flown to the other side of the world. In an age where email and communication is so easy, this crazy and complicated act of finding and bringing a new member into our family had to be done the old fashioned way.
Uganda does not make it easy. In fact, in many ways, I felt discouraged from adopting from there. There are millions of orphans there, and their first priority is trying to find someone related, of course. Then they attempt to find a Ugandan family. International adoption is their final resort. The court seems to demand that we prove our interest to them - why Uganda? I keep wondering where are all those in need? Those who make it to an orphanage in the capital city seem to already be lucky - for these orphanages have waiting lines ready to adopt them. And those kids I saw in the street? What happens to them? Are they not orphans? And all the children in the rural areas who have no living parents...are they taken care of by neighbors or relatives? Does anyone keep an eye out on them? Is it that difficult to get those children to a suitable home? Are there even places they can go?
I do not doubt there is tremendous need. As in all countries, there is a lack of a system to identify and help those who are really desperate. The resources required to determine that each child is truly an orphan are clearly taxed. The country requires 5 weeks of research done by a social worker - enquiries into the child's background and history. Often parents temporarily abandon their child, hoping for the best, and assuming they will be able to return some later day when they are back on their feet and able to provide. Unfortunately there are those who actively travel to rural areas to "recruit' orphans - encouraging parents to give up their child to an orphanage in exchange for a nominal fee. So those children are not really orphaned, but passed off as such to Americans and other international adopters who have no way of knowing that the kids are technically being sold.
I agree it should be difficult to adopt. Through our journey, we have learned so much about the plight of kids in different countries. And what happens to some who are taken in by families not really prepared to deal with issues that might surface. But this waiting - this standing in line to "get the next child" - has such a horrible feeling of supply & demand. I hate it. The idea of adopting may originate or be in part due to some sense of global responsibility, doing the right thing, etc. But that ideal will not carry anyone through the ups and downs of adopting or the demands a new child will place on us or our family. It is hard to explain all the factors that have led us down this road. I am so nervous for it to actually happen; and so nervous for it to not happen. It is an emotional commitment either way. At the bottom of it all is just this feeling that we have a son out there, and we just have to find him.
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